Well, it's that time of year again, Oscar-season. To be honest, I have no idea when Oscar season is, but for the sake of this post, it's Right Around The Corner!
Let's take a look at the Oscar hopefuls this year:
All of the Oscar buzz is revolving around critically acclaimed actor Samuel L. Jackson; Jackson is making the bid for his role in the racially progressive Lakeview Terrace. Samuel Longjohn plays a neighbor who, for seemingly no reason whatsoever, is absolutely crazy.
Jackson, who was recently seen at Bernie Mac's funeral, is celebrated for his role in establishing an African-American presence in American cinema. Sammy intends to contribute to the social push for integration by playing a crazed Black neighbor in the suburbs, paving the way for the image of upwardly mobile African-Americans, and diminishing the stereotype of African-Americans as violent and irrational.
Godspeed SLJ. What integrity.
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Time to start your X-mas (or Hannukah, BILLY) lists!
So this exists. You may, like myself, not have thought that there was a market for Confedrate-Native American-Wolf-Dream Catcher memorabilia. Turns out that, I have no fucking idea what the hell goes on in other parts of the country that I live in. I can't even BEGIN to relate to the kind of person that would SERIOUSLY buy this. But, I can in fact totally relate to the kind of person that would buy this because its amazing. For all your shopping needs, you can head to the following website to check out many other nuggets of joy:
http://www.sevenbros.com/index.php?cPath=95
specifically: http://www.sevenbros.com/index.php?cPath=95_112
*Sidenote, WHER THE HELL ARE MY COHORTS?
Monday, September 8, 2008
BUY ORTEGA
I will give you zero guesses as to which part of this commercial earned this video its place on this most prestigious website.
Ortega Marketing FTW ("for the win" for people with lives)
*UPDATE* Not really an update, but I kind of imagine the guy who wrote this dialogue explaining himself to his colleagues saying, "You know...you write COUNTLESS advertisements and commercials. Bring an untold amount of revenue to COUNTLESS businesses. But you write ONE LINE of dialogue that could be an innuendo for the deflowering of a 16 year old girl in a Taco Commercial and SUDDENLY you are the bad guy....sheesh."
Ortega Marketing FTW ("for the win" for people with lives)
*UPDATE* Not really an update, but I kind of imagine the guy who wrote this dialogue explaining himself to his colleagues saying, "You know...you write COUNTLESS advertisements and commercials. Bring an untold amount of revenue to COUNTLESS businesses. But you write ONE LINE of dialogue that could be an innuendo for the deflowering of a 16 year old girl in a Taco Commercial and SUDDENLY you are the bad guy....sheesh."
Thursday, September 4, 2008
A Scientific Victory
As we have all unfortunately learned, Scientific discovery does not always lead to desirable results. As the saying goes, "the best-laid plans of mice and men / Go oft awry." But science and innovation has, as a general rule, provided the human race with countless advancements in health care, information transfer, and technology. But, as you will soon see, all that is peanuts compared to this:
http://www.greenexpander.com/2008/05/29/meet-the-mini-pigs/
As you can see. This pig is quite smaller than a normal size pig. After, "9 years and 24 generations," the breeder developed this marvel of modern science. If you don't want one of these, I hate to inform you but, you are probably dead (no offense to any ghosts who also may want a miniature pig).
Implications of this discovery:
1) Bacon (duh) only SUPER TINY bacon.
-subpoint: the ability to make super tiny BLT's and then have a tea party.
2) The actual ability to say, "Yo baby, how about we go back to your place and let loose this pork in my pants." (This is guaranteed to get you laid, because Christ Jesus, look at that thing)
3) You would have a miniature pig (seems obvious but really THINK about it)
4) Miniature pig races
5) You could put a PIG into a hamster ball
6) You could carry a pig around in a fanny pack
7) You could reenact Charlotte's Web in your bathtub
8) The cutest rack of BBQ ribs EVER
9) You could have it ride on top of a turtle
10) It would wuv you.
I rest my case.
Fun Facts! : I saved a link to this article a while ago and clicked on it today and it was a Pornography site that promised me hot local girls (they were lying), so I had to find it elsewhere. The more you know!
http://www.greenexpander.com/2008/05/29/meet-the-mini-pigs/
As you can see. This pig is quite smaller than a normal size pig. After, "9 years and 24 generations," the breeder developed this marvel of modern science. If you don't want one of these, I hate to inform you but, you are probably dead (no offense to any ghosts who also may want a miniature pig).
Implications of this discovery:
1) Bacon (duh) only SUPER TINY bacon.
-subpoint: the ability to make super tiny BLT's and then have a tea party.
2) The actual ability to say, "Yo baby, how about we go back to your place and let loose this pork in my pants." (This is guaranteed to get you laid, because Christ Jesus, look at that thing)
3) You would have a miniature pig (seems obvious but really THINK about it)
4) Miniature pig races
5) You could put a PIG into a hamster ball
6) You could carry a pig around in a fanny pack
7) You could reenact Charlotte's Web in your bathtub
8) The cutest rack of BBQ ribs EVER
9) You could have it ride on top of a turtle
10) It would wuv you.
I rest my case.
Fun Facts! : I saved a link to this article a while ago and clicked on it today and it was a Pornography site that promised me hot local girls (they were lying), so I had to find it elsewhere. The more you know!
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