A glimpse ahead.

Obviously someone invented a time machine because this is most definitely me in about 10-15 years. I HAVE SEEN THE FUTURE!!!!




Source

George Carlin was the fucking man.

No point in trying to be clever or funny. I will never even come close to George Carlin in my life. Just watch all of these:


Fuckin Carlin

Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, CockSucker, MotherFucker, and Tits

R.I.P.

Non-Stop Action

One of these days, I will actually post something with some commentary and insight, maybe even some words that are pseudo-intellectual. But for now, I am just going to use this blog to post things that render any sort of explanation moot.







In all fairness, this stunt is replicated in the new film "Wanted" Or at least I imagine it is based on the previews that I have seen.

BREAKING NEWS ON CNN

I'm not even going to attempt to set this up or make it funnier.




Click Here to Change Your Life





Score.

Party In My Pants

It's the weekend, bros, and we're about to rock out without our cocks in. That's right, let's go down our clubbing check list before we spend money on some honey:

1) Sparxxx - Get our buzz on

2) Bubba Sparxxx - Get our bust on

3) Hair gel - Get our spike on

4) Preparation H - Get our, what the hell

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,362304,00.html

Apparently the cool new thing is to rub ass medicine all over your body and girls will want to bang you.

Unfortunately, this new craze has meant a dropoff in business for Bacardi girls, Jagermeister girls, and St. Pauli girls in lieu of a new party promoter. Thankfully however, young partygoers are finally taking the problem of body hemorrhoids seriously.

HISTORY!

READ IT AND WEEP. RIGHT THERE. Three historic words: YES WE CAN! That's right, Yes, we can buy our own dinosaur skeletons! (PSYCHE) The Independent is reporting that there is a new trend by the super-rich in collecting dinosaur fossils. For example, according to the article a triceratops can be bought for only 400,000 L-shaped things, or £. I think that's gay dollars or something, I don't know I'm not an economist. The article:





Moneyed collectors are flocking to fossil auctions like never before. Just look at the catalogues of major auction houses over the past six months. In April, a 65-million-year-old Triceratops skeleton went under the hammer in Paris, and sold for a cool £400,000. In March, a prehistoric Siberian mammoth fetched an equally jaw-dropping £200,000 in New York.
With Christie's holding regular dinosaur auctions in the French capital, and similar events being held at Bonhams and fellow auctioneer Chait in Manhattan, there are more opportunities then ever to pick up a bony memento.(sounds like a gay porn about a guy with anterograde amnesia)

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/bones-under-the-hammer-fossil-fetish-spurs-collectors-market-839427.html

HMMMMMM. RICH PEOPLE? DINOSAURS? MONEY? I think this is a recipe for success